Surrender in this sense is about coming to terms with who I really am rather than measuring my success and failure by the people around me or what kind of job I have. It is about identifying what is real and what is imagined, and paying attention to what is going on inside of my own head. Sitting still with my own thoughts saved me, even when I was too terrified to look. When I am resisting and struggling to make sense out of something and can’t get past it, I know it is time to surrender.
Being able to pull together on paper where my thoughts kept taking me, provided a place to start. It was the first tangible evidence to myself that I was doing something about whatever problem I used as a reason for my unfortunate life. Even in the midst of confusion, I can make lists of how I feel, what I see, and what I believe the cause or the solution might be. An architect must have a plan before he can construct a house…and so it is with the building of my own character and the richness of my own life.
Seeing how my brain operates in black and white was the beginning I needed to turn my life around. It revealed to me how I thought about myself and others. Utilizing a journal and just unloading the “head committee’s” agenda on paper gave me glorious insight to my own fears and self-doubt. Going to someone I could trust to be non-judgmental (counselors, mentors, coaches) about what I had discovered, gave me relief because now those thoughts had somewhere to land. The more I was able to process through all the things that kept me stuck, the freer I felt. Dumping that stuff on paper is cathartic and gives me a starting point for the journey of change.
Most of us go through life on auto-pilot, out of touch with our feelings and allowing the world around us to dictate how we behave each day. When you wake up enough to realize you don’t like the place you are in emotionally, it is time to take some action. Capture that awareness in a journal so that you can step outside of the emotion and become a willing observer instead. Surrendering to the human need to understand may just empower you to find victory in the process.
What is keeping you from surrendering today?