No matter where we go we leave the energetic trail of our moods along the way. The energy we show up with carries a message to others…whether or not we realize it. The message may be intentional or unconscious – but we are always projecting it into the universe. Whether the lesson lands in the lap of the checker at the grocery store, our children, or our peers at work, we teach others how to treat us, even when that is not our intention. Witnesses learn from us everywhere, and if someone is in a vulnerable place, our demeanor, extended forward, has the power to lift up or destroy. Because we effect one another so easily, we have a responsibility to take the lead in any encounter.
How do you do that if you are in a crappy place though? If the first thing you focus on is how much you regret, how do you get past that? And why does it matter what others think anyway? Taking responsibility for our thoughts is the first step and that takes waking up to what we are putting out there in front of us. Finding a way to shift from grouchy to grateful has its perks. When we do, our energy becomes uplifting and so does the message we hear and project.
Some of us are addicted to negative and catastrophic thinking. If your life has been one of challenge and strife, if you are going through something that is painful, or overcoming some other trauma, it is difficult to feel like moving out of it. Yes misery does seem to love company – we just don’t realize sometimes how much we invite into our world by our own thoughts. If we are constantly talking about our troubles to others, we only feed the beast. What can we do to switch from thinking that hurts us to thinking that teaches us?
Here are some ways you can begin to take back your own energy and switch to more positive behaviors:
- Stop! Don’t open up that browser the minute you open your eyes. Rather than let the world invade your mind and control your energy, decide consciously where you want it to go. Whether that means meditation, writing in a journal or talking to a mentor or mate about what you want for the day, you are in charge of the way you show up. Try setting an intention for what you want to feel at the end of the day and see what happens. You could also fill in the blank with the following – “I desire a feeling of_________ (accomplishment, happiness, etc.) at the end of the day”. Your intention sets up the energy to make it so.
- Learn to pause when you feel someone or something shifting your energy in a way that doesn’t feel right. Try putting a sticky note somewhere prominent (bathroom mirror, computer monitor, steering wheel) that outlines what you want to focus on for the day. Maybe it is just the word “pause”, “pray”, or “breathe”…make it something that feels right to you.
- When you meet a stranger smile first…before you say anything. Pay attention to how they react to the smile, what you feel when they react to you. There are countless stories of how a simple kindness changed the direction of a person’s life…be the one who makes it so!
- Look for someone you can help even in a small way. When you think about the comfort of others you give others permission to do the same – and you become the teacher. Acts of kindness change both involved…be kind.
- Write down what is keeping you awake at night or making it difficult to move forward in your life. And when you see it in black and white ask yourself “what do I want instead of this?” Take it a step further and ask “what do I want to FEEL instead of this? Contrast is one of the ways to learn what to let go of, and in this way you make room for the things you DO want in your life. This helps you make choices based on what you want, rather than inviting what you don’t want, by giving it your constant focus. Don’t keep inviting dark clouds…be grateful for the blue sky.
- When something happens that is difficult to take, ask the question “what can I learn from this?” This is where we begin to be teacher AND student to ourselves. There are lessons, and blessings in every event in life…keep looking for them.
Everyone has their own path to walk in this life, things to overcome, to greet gratefully or regretfully, and to learn. We have the choice each day to continue on like we have been living or we can choose to grow. Trying on a new way of thinking changes our perspective and fuels a desire for better things.
What will you learn today?